REVIEWS ORIGINALLY POSTED AT WWFORUMS.COM
As you can see, the first post by the author below examples the same excerpt as
given above.
The Author: Rodger Grondahl
Hi, am asking people to review a little of my work from my novel,
The Learning of Melton Way
(C)2004 Rodger Dale Grondahl (All rights reserved)
Here is an excerpt which colorfully describes the scene and where the
characters are at this point in the story. Thanks.
Along the base of the high country, whilst horses grazed on healthy grass,
and grains full-ripe, where wild and mystic Evermore grew in life more
numerous and length of days to be past counting, here now, and beneath
such masts of branches great to steady even upper winds, and house such
creatures born of them three warriors sat, and stood, with thoughts of
battles past, with determined eyes, and stature now set yet to greet, as
battles greet, and wage--their hearty eyes more secret as to inner things
--passioned now they gazed, yonder, to furrow sights not far, yet meet to
a distance, as enemies would, to hold apart themselves; yet nigh to tempt,
their rage to build, and under stars mocking, restraint prevailed: but behind
them, from events before stood taller still those reaching spires, left to
themselves, beyond such storms as this...hidden, guarded now, from any thought,
or foe to enter: but, together now, under bough and leaf and star, with a
peace temporary the three observed thither arms, and mail by campfires lit:
they sighed, and thinking for to halt awhile in tenderness and earnest hope--
so they sang of hope--such hope, to await with truth evanescent, till Truth
of Hope inspire . . .
The Author: Rodger Grondahl
--------------------
master_chris
Great!
--------------------
MacLeod
That may be the longest sentence in recorded history. The imagery was good,
but the length of that whole thing I spent desperately searching for a period.
I love to read, but when something like that happens, it distracts. I really
liked the inclusion of uncommon words...whilst...Shorten the description a bit
and play with sentence length to create a bit of tempo. Or, inject the
descriptive into conversation for your initial pacing.
Mac
---------------------
master_chris
I agree... it must be the longest sentence I have ever seen. It makes reading
it a little too boring. I agree with MacLeod. Although it was very good...
just need some fixes. Very descriptive.
---------------------
Sacredmime
Welcome to the forum, Rodger. While I applaud attempts to create an original
voice and style, I don't think I'd be able to get through a whole novel
written like this. Part of this, like the others said, is that it's one long
run-on. Another part is that there are many abstract concepts and competing
images. I'd advise to pick out what you want the reader to take from the
passage and concentrate the scene on that.
Were you shooting to write epic poetry?
--------------------
khaine
I really hope you haven't written a whole novel in 250-word sentences.
Particularly 250-word sentences that can be summarized as "Three warriors
stand, thinking about whether they should stop."
Also, there's some other problems:
three warriors sat, and stood, with thoughts -- They can't be doing both, can
they?
-- their hearty eyes more secret as to inner things -- First, hearty means
something like 'flavorful and filling' or 'enthusiastic', neither of which
seems appropriate for eyes. And "more secret as to inner things" makes no
sense.
peace temporary the three observed thither arms -- thither is a place
designator, so this doesn't make sense.
My advice is to focus on what's actually happening that matters to the story,
and leave off extraneous description. It's the subject-verb stuff that's the
meat of the story, all these descriptors get you nowhere. And, as others have
commented, punctuation is your friend.
--------------------
The Author: Rodger Dale Grondahl
Hello, and thank you very much for your reviews. As I understood when I
posted that particular paragraph(sentence)--because there could be not much
idea on your part of what exactly was the setting, or the immediate events
surrounding this excerpt but you had read the story to this point--there
would be difficulty for a reviewer in following such a style of writing. But
your reviews are very thought-out and appreciated. To answer the one technical
question of how can three be standing and sitting...two were sitting against
a giant "Evermore tree" while the other stood. To the question of whether the
eyes can portray emotion or zeal or intent, hearty here means more "a sparkle
of life"--yet to any which did not partake in their recent experiences, their
eyes would give nothing away of that shared experience together which lingered
still strong within their thoughts. "more secret as to inner things"--(One
could tell they were enlivened, but not have a clue as to why. A secret
perhaps only they would share together.) As for no periods, I determined that
intentionally, because it was written as a picture, a painting. When we view
a painting, we see the whole thing as one object. (By the way, I have another
such paragraph in the novel far longer...) And "no" to the question of whether
the entire novel is in such form. That form is but to draw and color in only
a few places. The novel is written mostly in common or mixed style. I felt
more comfortable in writing such paragraphs (I really like Milton) than to
use vast simile and metaphor in many sentences, which I find distracting and
often boring, unless the writer is very keen. So all in all I must agree with
Master_Chris,(his first and probably more accurate response)as I personally
like the view and sensations it causes when I read it. (PS. If you ever read
the story, you shall learn that "thither" is used properly here, because they
were looking to a distance at an army armed to the teeth.) Thank you kindly,
The Author: Rodger Dale Grondahl
--------------------
khaine
Whether or not you can explain what you meant when you wrote something
doesn't matter -- an actual reader isn't going to have the chance to ask
you.
As for the run-ons -- writing is a fundamentally different art then, say,
painting, because it's inherently linear. No matter how much you bend the
rules of grammar, the reader still has to take the words in the order they
were written, one at a time. I just know that personally, as a reader, my
reaction to big blocks of unpunctuated text is decidedly negative. I tend
to think the "rules" of grammar are there for a reason.
Obviously as author, it's your choice to take or ignore any advice offered.
But if you're satisfied with the piece and don't plan on taking advice, I'm
not sure what the point of asking for reviews is...
--------------------
Lil' Tailor
I must admit, that while I don't particularly care for the rules of grammar,
after the first 2 lines I thought to myself, perchance this is one long
sentence. I thought it was very keen in a sense, but then you used
semi-colons. I hate that, it was like you were deliberately trying to
stop and start at the same time. After that it just sort of dragged because
of the abruptness of your semi-colon, I stopped reading what you wrote and
simply looked at the punctuation.
--------------------
Samuel
What genre of writing is this?
You seem to thrive in this poetic realm, Rodger; but (like others mentioned),
a whole book of this...would put me to sleep a few pages in. If you are going
to use these kinds of words/phrases/poetic verses in this sentence and the
following ones, you really should AT LEAST give the reader a place to stop
and breathe now and then. A period is more than a chance to take a breath
though; a period gives the reader an oppurtunity to pause and reflect on
what he's just read. You throw so many archaic words/phrases in this excerpt
that it is nearly impossible for (certainly the average, mainstream reader)
anyone to get a handle on it all.
This is why I suggest one (or more) of several things:
1. Cut back on this style of wordiness (I'm speaking to myself as much as
you...or anyone else, with this advice).
2. Add a WHOLE lot more periods, at strategic, thoughtful spots where you
want your readers to grasp the significance of what's been said.
3. Make this into a poem (obviously depends on the length of your projected
story). Certainly doesn't hafta rhyme, b/c your wordiness makes it lyrical
all by itself.
Really though, your grasp of the English language and the more enchanting
natural aspects of it is quite engaging, Rodger. If you tone down on it
somewhat, though, you can get a much better reaction and finished work.
The choice of words in fantasy is soooo important, and if you have the
ABILITY to pull out phrases like the above, then that is a real gift. When
it becomes detrimental to your writing is when you OVERUSE your handling
of vocab.
Just my two cents. You can disregard it all if you want; I don't claim to
be an expert. But these thoughts were my humble opinion.
Whatever you do, though---keep on writing!!!
Sam.
--------------------
Ilona
Originally posted by Rodger Grondahl:
"Hi, am asking people to review a little of my work from my novel,
The Learning of Melton Way."
Try the Reviewers' Choice Yahoo group, there are a lot of reviewers on it.
It's only for requesting reviews.
--------------------
JPL
the Lucid Moon website is a good place to search for potential book
reviewers. LM lists the e-mail addresses of many reviewers. Give them a
try.
--------------------
Shade
Little bit late for a reply but:
You are not the only aspiring writer who wants to get all the imagery and
concepts in as fast as he/she can: It is hard not to want to try and say it
all at once!
Good Luck with it :)
BTW I'm new to the forum and am really enjoying the fair way a lot of your
members respond - constructive criticism - good to see.
--------------------
The Author: Rodger Grondahl
Thank you Ilona and JPL for the information. :)
And thank you Shade for your nice post. And since, as I said, I like Milton,
I thought I might post one more "poetic description" from my novel.
(And thank everyone that took the time to comment on my work. One thing
though, anyone that reads my work can call me personally to ask questions
or give comments about my novel.)
email: fom@mtaonline.net
or call: 907-495-7957 (USA)
or write:
Rodger Grondahl
PO Box 805
Willow, Alaska 99688
Seven stars, not distanced nor moving, neither set beyond where crafty
moistures clinging could hide them, briefly, or incessantly as to hide
other things from such frail light that these might give, or have given,
into and upon the darknesses of worlds or men; yet set a height, one above
them all, to signal hope to the fain creature now oppressed from strength,
his weighty burden more now and to pull him down, to rest, to remember, to
look again upon that hopeless hope, significant and known from some story
book memory--this candle with such strange wicks eerily afire, beyond the
last day, even in this place of dark and dispirited night, and once upon a
time, he remembered, was been his home, his secret; but, and now that only,
beyond the dead of world once thrived and without thought of it, yet to
remain after for children to rest within its shell, last life held precarious
and precious beyond any and every grave, upon and beneath every land; them
children once careless from all mention and thought of its cradle, of, or to
its import and purpose, and lauding riches--that only candle of life left
burning in all the world: yet it gave him no comfort, neither did he think
for any, but for that joy of reunion with such wretched burdens of life cast
therein, as he was in destiny himself and this sorrowful thing lain asleep on
his lap to become, and as he had come to suppose and to believe, with them
all, at the feet, and at the mercy of God.
(C)2004 Rodger Grondahl
THE LEARNING OF MELTON WAY
Thank you kindly,
PS - I think I shall continue with these kinds of writings added to "flavor"
my work. I do believe they are much enjoyed by those that read the book, for
then they are "not lost" when they read these kinds of things.
The Author: Rodger Grondahl
--------------------
Nealix
I'm afraid your writing style is not my cup of tea. I find it very confusing.
It has a certain resemblance to poetry but the little I think I know about
poetry is that poets are trying to say the most about a subject in the fewest
amount of words. The general method of this seems to be through metaphor
and simile since comparing one thing to another says much more about that
thing in fewer words than it would take by direct description. Your work
seems to use flowery prose to say the least about something with verbosity.
I am not an expert. I am just a reader who aspires to write. I have read
thousands of books and while I don't wish to hurt your feelings I will say
that I could barely get through the paragraphs you posted let alone a
complete novel written in this style.
Your style is yours alone and seems to be an echo of works of the distant
past. However todays world is a fast-paced place. Our children are already
able to process information much quicker than we were. Look at how movies
have changed over the years. They are much more chaotic in editing and much
less is shown and in many different ways due to the shorter attention span of
today's audience. In a world where the remote clicks as often as the beat of
a drum and the choices are almost endless I can't see this writing style being
popular because of its difficulty in digesting. Personally I recommend you
read some Hemmingway. He was one of the clearest and most concise writers I
have ever read. "The Old Man and the Sea" well deserved the nobel prize for
literature for the clear vision his prose presented. Reading that book I felt
I knew Santiago in a way I had never known any other character in any other
book I have ever read.
You are the artist but I have never been a fan of art that is inaccessible.
I wish you well but your current style is just not for me.
--------------------
The Author: Rodger Dale Grondahl
Thank you Nealix for your post and comments. There are a couple things I
should like to say about that you may have missed or not understood in my
previous posts. First, these paragraphs are few in my novel, and deal
directly to the events which are transpiring at the time in the novel. (By
the way, the novel is "fast paced".)
Here is a quote from my first response to observations about this work:
"As I understood when I posted that particular paragraph(sentence)--because
there could be not much idea on your part of what exactly was the setting,
or the immediate events surrounding this excerpt but you had read the story
to this point--there would be difficulty for a reviewer in following such a
style of writing."
So any "confusion" should not be considered by any reviewer, as their
criterion should take it into consideration that what they are reading
is "out of context". Obviously, many shall not enjoy such a style, and
I accept that. But I wonder that you seem to not understand that the greater
majority of this novel(as I stated before)is written in common or mixed style.
(By the way, children are not able to "process information much quicker than
we were", at least, in my opinion. As it has been from generation to generation,
each one seems to make the same mistakes, though they have all the information
and lessons of the past set before them.)
I have read Hemmingway, and though he wrote well, his writings were not always
"on target".
One last thing: Art can be seen at a glance(as I have given here)--like a man
walking by a picture might glance at it--or viewed carefully(as my complete
novel is available to be read)--like a man that stops to study carefully the
image he was passing. I do believe those that read an entire book can
appreciate, or at least have more to consider to appreciate, than those
that read a page or two.
Lastly, and I quote you:
"Your work seems to use flowery prose to say the least about something with
verbosity."
Thank you for considering my posted excerpts as "flowery prose". I take that
as a compliment.
But I must give this emendation concerning your next words: "to say the least
about something with verbosity."
There is so very much in those excerpts, even treasure. It is my sincere hope
that someday you may know it. And that so very many things were said with very
few words.
Thank you kindly,
The Author: Rodger Grondahl
--------------------
Nealix
You're welcome Rodger. Just a note. When I say "processing information" I mean
taking information in not making decisions. They are two entirely different
actions. Now I suppose I was unclear in my meaning when I made that statement
as I did not give an age range for the children I was referring too and
perhaps the term itself was confusing but in a way it proves my point. If
something as simple as my small statement can be misconstrued so easily then
I find it reasonable to assume that 10 different people could read your
posted paragraphs and each think something subtly or even radically
different was meant. In any case I wouldn't give odds that anyone would
understand exactly what you meant but again if that was intentional you hit
the mark.
The main thrust for me is that it takes quite a bit of work to decipher your
postings and while that may be your aim it will generally frustrate the
average reader and scare them off.
By the way, what did you mean when you wrote Hemmingway was not always
"on target"? I did not suggest he was infallible only that his novella
"The Old Man and the Sea" was a masterpiece and was sited as the example
by the nobel committee for the award they gave him. It is also a great
example for writers who have a hard time finding the places where periods
are most effective.
Perhaps you could post something that better represents the greater body
of your work since these are only small interludes in your stories.
--------------------
The Author: Rodger Grondahl
First, Nealix, thank you for responding to my post. But I must say that
"processing information" means exactly what it says: To "take in information"
is not "processing information". Information that is understood to a
conclusion has been "processed". As for Hemmingway, my response specifically
was to address your declaration that Hemmingway's writings were "concise".
"Brief", perhaps, but always "to the point" I disagree. Admittedly, because
terms were not first set forth in solid meaning, this part of our conversation
is ambiguous. What I considered "concise" concerns "doctrine of an absolute
nature". In this I found Hemmingway "off target". Any other interpretation
would simply be his, (Hemmingway), your opinion, or mine. (By the way, I did
not "misconstrue" your use of "processing information". It was taken at "face
value" and compared to my understanding of medical jargon.)
As I have read all your posts, I must conclude that you simply do not like
my writings. This is acceptable to me. One thing though, it seems again you
avoid my aforementioned treatise that one needed to read the novel to
understand fully these excerpts. Even so, your suggestion that I "post
something that better represents the greater body of your work" I believe
is a proper suggestion. I simply am not compelled to do so. Finally, I
believe many peoples could, and perhaps shall, not only enjoy such writings
as exampled, but understand them and receive the vision as it is intended to
touch them: especially if they have done so in the context of their
presentations. Something though to consider: I also believe these writings
can move some people in artistic contemplation, as I have witnessed already
from certain reviewers, in a positive way even if these excerpts are all
they might read from my story.
But for the sake of fairness to you, I would like to give an example from my
novel that you might enjoy, or not, yet I can guarantee shall not leave any
ambiguity between us. Thus, any suggestions on your part might be weighed
without misinterpretations.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
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The following excerpt is from where the King of Noem, which is the Princess
Caylee's prisoner, is brought to the table that the King of Lent should
discover his heart. The King of Lent's intention is to avoid war, though
his daughter had gone to war against Noem because soldiers from Noem had
accosted her. So the King of Lent had ordered her not to shed blood, but
bring the King of Noem to him...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Order now," the King commanded and no one broke the
immediate silence following. The King then stood and bowed to the King of Noem;
the other stood then to follow the example and both sat down.
"Aye," he started again; “Tis sad for kings to meet
in such a way...but necessary it is, for the times be evil no doubt. Our
Princess, I say, my daughter the Princess Caylee was accosted, Sir, by your
soldiers and did declare war with you. So rather than struggle with her I
gave her leave to the war, only, that she bring to me either the King of
Noem, the Prince of Noem, or both. She did bring me you Sir, and now we
must consider our fates together.” While saying this the King had stood and
walked around Wizard Heimm to stand behind Melton, putting a hand on Melton's
unhurt shoulder:
"Our Conjurer, I say, my daughter's husband and the
King's son, did I place above all in my kingdom -- but he has changed the
King's word. His counsel honors not only the King, but the King's family and
friends. He has insisted to not be named so, but that the House of Lent be to
the Princess Caylee upon the King's retirement. I have agreed in this thing
because his heart is right. He makes himself the servant, and has gained the
respect of all mine acquaintance." Now the King moved to stand behind the
Wizard Heimm . . .
"This wizard I know you have met years past. He is my
counselor second not even to the Conjurer, but to the Throne only. My friend
and protector." Moving with a royal grace that always brought Caylee to watch
him, the King went to stand behind General Thorn:
"This is the Commander of the armies of Lent. He does
not run from the Spacers, nor would he run from battle with the King's most
lethal foes. He is the King's right arm and sword. Only the sword wielded by
our Conjurer do I find to his stature with his men. He be also the King's
loyal friend." Lastly the King rested both hands on Caylee's shoulders:
"This is my beloved daughter, the Princess of Lent.
There is no braver woman in all the worlds among the stars, and no better
queen in the making." Having done this with his people the King returned to
his seat and said to the King of Noem:
"What Sir, are you to the King of Lent?"
The above excerpt taken from:
The Learning of Melton Way
(c)2004 Rodger Dale Grondahl
--------------------
Mike Coombes
Rodger, you'll probably think this is sniping after other posts, but...
The first sentence you posted (I've never seen a sentence structured quite
like that before - a semi colon AND a colon, no less) was terrible. The simple
fact is that it represents what's wrong with self-publishing; a professional
editor would not have allowed such a thing to end up on paper.
And to be honest, any explanations offered after are redundant unless they're
in your book also. There's no point following criticism up with "Well what I
meant to say...", especially in this situation where the book is already in
print.
--------------------
The Author: Rodger Grondahl
I believe the sentence is fine. I think I was told you are never to begin a
sentence with the word but...so, the sentence could not end. Hense, the colon.
(Sometimes I do begin a sentence with the word "But".) By the way, who makes
these rules you follow? Let me ask you something: Is it ok to "invent" words?
or are there rules against that?
And in all my posts above I do not recall ever saying, "Well, what I meant
to say.." What is written, I believe is very fine. That is my opinion. If I
did not like what I had written, I would have written something else. This
is what is "right" with self-publishing. It is my work, not yours or any other.
Frankly, I am hoping for someone to tell me how they were "touched" by the
words, not how the words "touched" the page.
Thank you for your comments.
The Author: Rodger Dale Grondahl
--------------------
kc al
Rodger Grondahl. I'm going to be honest with you--brutally harsh. You're
sentence is not fine. I suggest you stop living in your little daydream like
Tom ******, or you will never improve. It is exactly that kind of mentality
that will keep you down, and you will not once see your name on top of any
bestseller list.
Your sentence is a convoluted mess. My eyes were glossing over on the 7th
word. You must be over your head to be writing like this, without even
knowing the proper basics. Cut the filler; cut the crap, and all the clutter,
and get to the point. And, last but not least, learn how and where to put
apostrophes, colons, commas, and dashes--properly.
You write better in forums post than any work you have written. Take the
time and read your threads, and incorporate that in your writings. It's the
truth, my man. And the truth hurts.
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The below posts were not only a portion of an answer to the above, but all
in all to things said to me (and others) while I had the privilege of posting
at wwforums.com - Perhaps a brief is in order: There was a long conversation
concerning self-published persons and persons published by traditional publishers.
(Someday I may post it here.) Had there not been so much discouragement spoken
to new authors, mostly to deny their efforts as having any value, and
suggesting that those which chose to self-publish were at the bottom of
all literary endeavor, I would have restrained from posting what you shall read below.
For the conversation digressed where certain held to even call them foul
things, so much that I was pressed to be bold when I wrote of these things.
Please be not offended. For it is well for us to encourage one another. So if
you are a new author, and find it difficult to become published, but believe
your message is important, I support your decision to self-publish your work.
Thank you kindly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rodger Grondahl
Hi,
I is one of those: lazy, untalented, run from work type self-published
persons, uncredited, without quality control, vanity route anonymous, could
never find the door of the great genius seminars, know nothing of "proper
word usage", -(as you can tell when I said: "I is one - rather than: I am
one.. Did I mention that I stoop to selling to family and friends?)-am lost
in the delusion that I am a writer, send messages of unseriousness to the
serious publishing community, unkempt in song and prose, worthless to the
community benefit, having an opinion from the world intelligentsia that I
have retardation, poor IQ, no class, willing to consider vainly my work is
really work, stupid, unreadable, inventor of words, (some say they that
invent words are schizophrenic)and have the gall to suggest you buy my
novel. Even so, I do have something to say, especially to those which have
thus informed me of my state after having reviewed certain of my
undistinguished posts here on the forum. And, being stupid, I now put my
foot in my mouth:
Visualities (and that is a word I also may have invented - or, at least,
discovered without finding it written somewhere) can be described concretely,
or abstractly. I have found two kinds of readers, basically. One is like the
child that draws with a ruler, and one like a child that draws without a
ruler. (Perhaps writers are also like that.) I find no problem with either,
except if the one demands the other to draw the same way. Here I draw with a
ruler. But when I take the "brush of expressions of the heart" what comes
forth can not be decided by the measure of men. I shall continue to write
as I write, with no apology. Where one might say: "I have a book that has
information for you", another might say: "I have a book of treasure for you".
In my writings there is treasure, this I do know. Whether you can find it or
not, is not in my power. Many shall agree with you that my writing is this or
that, and call it many things. Yet many also shall receive from it what is
there to be found.
What I write is like a man that comes to a pile of refuse, and he walks about
it, and over it, and digs down into it. Within he finds many jewels, and
gathers them up. He cleans them, and if they are broke he remakes them better
than they were. And takes those jewels and bedecks of them. But the refuse,
he sets on fire.
It is not wisdom to set the refuse on fire before the jewels are found.
While so many look at lines and spaces and halters and pacers, some read,
searching. I have myself read many books, and have found many books lacking,
though they are written to please all that read them. Many of these books
are "on the bestseller lists". I am not envious whatsoever.
So if you might stoop so low as to read the work of a self-published person,
My novel is called: THE LEARNING OF MELTON WAY
It would be a fine thing if we could all put our name where his is, and
learn, rather than burn... Here is an excerpt:
That night Melton stood upon the forward wall of the castle with two
gatemen, together silently watching the shimmering dance of the Shell
round about and over the Farrinmoor complex. It was still alluring; a
sight for Melton to contemplate and look upon--a sky fire hypnotic, an
other worldly, a great help to the house of the King. He suspected the
sentries here with him also enjoyed such musings, or at least, that benign
and peaceful entertainment supplied according to the pattern of its character,
the soothing of its colors. More and less than a rainbow, it seemed to sway
toward them in a brightening and a dimming of noiseless wonder--like the
breathing of a sleeping child, like the coming and going of the King. At
times it appeared to send out a little portion, as a small flare and fabric
of a star, which, in its full circle sought its invisible home, wherefrom
coming forth desiring, and held, with a passion to regain, faithfully and
certainly, to therein abide once more, in pure union and power, those
magnificent energies from whence it was born. And at times it seemed to
open up, to give sight to those secret places--as the painting of a fine
picture brings a depth, a perspective, with all things beyond the close to
be equal in their focus, and their beauty, and their force. Looking up,
it seemed to lift and to drop, as clouds might do in the spring sky, or
as the land of unknown continents might appear for a while, to become again
unknown in their times. The Shell, this marvel of some forgotten idea, or,
if not forgotten, unknown to men, indeed, was able yet to thus allure; to
give great and searching men reflection, to provide the reception of
contemplation in the basest of men. Melton exhaled a peaceful sigh, thinking
of the Princess . . .
(C)2004 Rodger Dale Grondahl
NOTE: Certain links and redundant quotes were edited and removed from after
the posts, and some spelling corrected. One person's last name was blanked out.
But the original posts from others represented have been untouched and are
posted in order as they were originally submitted. Also specific dates and
times of posts have not been shown, although this intercourse between critics
and the author occurred during the month of May, 2006. Thank you kindly.
(Note: Please visit the author's blog at:
AUTHOR's BLOG for more examples of original material.)
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